let me borrow that top.

been shopping lately? i have (retail therapy). i usually stick to stores like macys and maybe the buckle (well if you shop at my mall those are the only appealing stores). let's say i go somewhere else; check out forever 21, h&m, nordstroms, lacoste, you get the picture. i like things simple. i don't need a giant dragon across my back (thanks for that shit, ed hardy) or glitter tops to cover my chest (i don't need anything else drawing attention to that region, thank you), so why is it so difficult to just have some simple, classic clothing?

my favorite places to shop are probably ralph lauren and jcrew (when i have money aka not right now); not that you necessarily need to know that, but just think about it-- both those stores meet the need for up to date fashion trends and keep them simple and classic. i'm all about that.

so while i'm browsing another stores, trying to meet my budget needs, i get all sorts of frustrated. i look at jeans; designs down the back, shiny stuff everywhere, embroidered colors. i wanted to vomit. hi, i just want some jeans, please. so i decide to put the jeans on hold, i mean i probably have too many jeans anyway.. let's take a look at some tops. no, should have just left. this store did not have ed hardy wear, but it might as well have, designs all over, not cute little designs or at least tolerable patterns more like BAM design. ahhh, no. i just want a top.

so then i relocate to another store, i check out some stuff, much better, because apparently "the more you know the more you kohls", so i was just putting my knowledge to good use-- i mean i was "expect(ing) great things" like kohls said i should. i'll be honest, i saw some much better things, much better than my last stop at least (oh it was the buckle, sorry buckle but you suck these days). so i'm browsing, what's up vera wang collection, half that stuff would look like shit on me, but i'm sure it's great for someone else. alright, cool, alright, still browsing, doing my thing. what's up lauren conrad collection, thanks for coming out from the hills to my western michigan store, how sweet of you. then i see it, this top-- totally deceiving, looks real cute, then i look closer, what is this frilly tutu at the bottom of this shirt? come on now lc-- i know you've got good style, you've been on tv forever, why can't you design simple, cute stuff like you wore on the hills? (also let me note, i refuse to shop in the juniors section of kohls, yes i am out of college and i probably should stray away from that, but their juniors section looks like clothes from deb or rave, no gracias.)

macy's oh macy's i just love you. my mall has the lowest level of macy's, no good stuff like the chicago macy's but i try to make due... yet why do you insist on still having "lucky brand" (hello middle school)? i'm looking for nice put together outfits when i shop at your store, but i am quite disappointed with your makeshift sweaters and ugly t shirts.

so here is where i'm confused, why when i walk into my old faithful stores like the buckle to buy some jeans (since my legs are far too long for anything else) i cant find anything that doesn't have gaudy crap all over it? don't you have any customers that don't want "destroyed" (destroyed taken to a whole new level) jeans? can i just get some jeans that are jean color with jean colored pockets and no designs? or am i going to have to buy some seven jeans that i cannot afford? guess i'll have to ask mommy and daddy for an allowance because that's what it's looking like.

i am really going to need some employment because i'm going to have to get high fashion on my shopping to not look like a total douche bag.