caught in a bad romance with a side of twilight

 i think back on relationships, or in some cases, not even relationships necessarily, maybe i would just call some, interactions with the opposite sex, because flings at least have some kind of time frame. so all my interactions, relationships, encounters, whatever you want to call them, always turn out to be pretty interesting. for some reason i feel like i'm spending a majority of my energy being frustrated and annoyed by them.why? well here are some situations i've run into or witnessed...

dudes that love bitches: why? this is where i have no desire to fit into a category. i'm not going to be rude/demanding/bitchy to get your attention, no thank you. so please go back to your raging bitch of an ex or people who put you through hell, i'll hang out somewhere living my content/happy life , enjoy being controlled and persecuted in your relationship.

that dude that won't go away: dude i've removed you approximately 25 times from my phone a) because i think you suck b) i have no desire to talk to you, ever c) why i involved myself with you is beyond me.

dudes that have no balls: wait, isn't that what makes you a dude? grow a pair. no more explanation needed. (see also dudes that love bitches)

dudes that can't think for themselves: ever been in a relationship that the other person tries too hard to be like you? i understand sharing common interests/

expanding your interests and starting to enjoy new things, that your girl/boyfriend likes, but be your own person- don't try to be just like them, that's just pitiful.

so as you know i've got lots-o time on my hands... i've been watching twilight, yes i am judging myself for it still, but hey, it was on demand for free, so why not? i've come up with a few things that bother me, even though i was throughly entertained by the move, it's just not realistic, beyond the fact that this dude is a vampire. if the story had been a real life romance, beyond the vampire business here are a few ways i think this story probably would have played out:

a) edward would have probably gotten sick of bella after a few weeks instead of confessing his love to her and his obligation to protect her.

b) bella probably would have screwed things up shortly after they started dating by hooking up with him and soon there after edward would lose interest.

c) bella probably would have thought edward was crazy for following her around and staring at her like a freak.
d) (new moon) jacob would have thought she was a crazy person by continually doing obnoxious things, like almost killing herself cliff diving and riding motorcycles. oh and her being super emo about edward probably wouldn't have helped the cause.

e) dude from school who keeps asking bella out, relentlessly, would have finally just dated jessica because obviously bella isn't feeling it. get over it, bro.

so there you have it, real life twilight. yes i hate myself for comparing real life romance (or anything) to twilight. don't stop reading because of this, i swear i'll relate real life to something cooler, someday, when my life gets more interesting. (and don't worry, i could talk about this topic for days, so there will, indeed, be more.)