no one likes you when you're 23

i recently took a trip to visit my good friend ali, in rural illinois. on my way, i jammed to new music (music post comin' at ya soon), i reminisced, i got pumped for the weekend to come. newark, il, you don't disappoint. i hop in my faithful explorer, dennis, and i hit the road. stopping in my old stomping ground, valpo to fill up on gas and on to the land of lincoln i go. naturally, for the second time in my life, i get lost in the beautiful place that is south holland, il. (big shout out to the land of meg hoh). it wasn't my first time in south holland, a place that seems less than inviting (less inviting in the dark on a friday night while i'm lost in the ghetto), my gps decides it doesn't want to recognize that a road is completely shut down and takes me around and around for a half hour while i try desperately a) not to stop, because hi, i'm in the ghetto b) not cry because naturally i don't have cell service c) try not to throw my gps out the window. i eventually find my way only to get caught in standstill traffic for another chunk of time, only miles from my exit to paradise. rural illinois, your construction sucks just as bad as michigan, this is not a compliment.

upon my arrival, finally, i'm greeted with good friends from valpo, good grub (shout out to mamma schultz), and some beers... mmm beers, so necessary after that nearly four hour drive. we catch up, we drink, we head out to the bars. oh, the bars in rural illinois, a beautiful thing. firstly, let me note that ali's hometown reminds me a little of my side of town, but a little more hick, so naturally i knew the bar scene was going to be a real treat. first bar, i can tell we are surrounded by typical small town people, besides the people i was with, everyone was awesome, regardless. my next big pleasant surprise came in the form of busch light cans. am i at a frat party? no i'm a suzies bar, of course. ordering felt a little weird "hi, may i have a can of busch light please?" they take money for busch light cans in forms other than a case? news to me. thanks suzies, it's been real. oh, and balding dj, please respond to my sweet moves next time i try to dance on you, rude. 

valpo crew, plus mitch mc creeps a lot.

en route to the next bar, i was greeted by some nice old school jams from ali's brother, like "ridin' dirty", hello high school, it's been a while. upon arrival to the next bar, i came upon the most small town country bar ever. it was awesome. i wish there was one like it here. i don't even think i could describe it besides awesome. jimbo shots we're a must, i think they were like a dollar and quite delicious surprisingly, despite their cost. so if you're ever traveling through or hanging out, doing country things in newark, give jimbo's a shout out, i know i will. 


waking up was rough, but hp7 was waiting for us. standing, feeling rough, ali and i overhead a extremely obese woman in the next line order lots of movie snacks, then followed it up by "i need a large coke and a large sprite" ali and i look at each other, naturally thinking the same thing, i mutter "no you don't"... really though she didn't, a water would have been just fine for you, sweetheart. after a lengthy but awesome hp7, ali and i had made comment after comment about "nice work harry" "shit, is about to get real" "ron is being such a bitch" comments we made our way back to newark, struggling the entire way home, attempting to be real people again as the next evening out approached.

spending our evening in, at a house party, in our pj's was just fine with me, don't worry, just because we were in our sleepwear it was still a great night. plenty of glow stick dancing to techno music, drinking games i haven't played since i was in college (ew, i always forget i'm not in college anymore) and ali changing the words to g6 to "feelin' so fly, in my asics" since she was rocking tennis shoes and sweats. classic. though we were at a house party, hosted by someone my age, there were still some high schoolers present. that was alright, i tried to pretend i was young and hip. i got some laughs from my comparison of busch heavy to drinking a sandwich, jammed to "what's my age again" and felt old since blink182 specifically pointed out how being 23 sucks. we mooched some booze off some kids, asking if we could take a shot of "x rated" a pink liquor, and this guy responds to us "yeah, x rated is for the bitches" thanks bro, we'll be finishing this bottle now, since we're the "bitches" so it's obviously for us. 


so newark, il, save me some x rated next time i come to town, because these bitches will be thirsty.