a very halbsy holiday

ah, the holidays.
i am one of those people that is anti christmas music until after thanksgiving, at least (except for when i forget to take off *nsync's, merry christmas, happy holidays and occasionally belt it out when it comes on my shuffle, mid june, of course). so thanksgiving marked the time for me to start doing some things excessively:
a) listening to christmas music, which absolutely includes sufjan steven's christmas album (it's heavenly, happy birthday jesus) b) wearing my uggs (go ahead, put me in the category of stereotypical ugg wearing girl, those bad boys are like walking on a cloud, go ahead, judge). c) watching home alone 2, lost in new york, repeatedly (i bought a dvd in china with all 4 of them on it, awesome (also don't argue with me, lost in new york is the best... shut up (amanda))

so this holiday, i was really excited to spend my thanksgiving weekend with close friends and family. sadly my sisters moved down south and i wont get to see them until the next holiday, (rough break, christmas time on the ocean? this is where kevin mccalister and i disagree, sorry kev, but i'm all about it)  so for our thanksgiving feast i was the lone grandchild in attendance since my cousins on the one side all have significant others and were doing that thing (please remind me more of my single life by leaving me as the only person under 55). 

let me just start off with black wednesday. hello, awesome. i think this is the first year i decided to venture out on the biggest bar night of the year, and let me just say, it did not disappoint. i knew going in, i'd get to see lots of people i hadn't in a long time (some i was excited to see, others i had no desire to see), so i knew it would be a mix of awesome, awkward and hilarious (which are three words that sum up my life pretty well). naturally, it was a little blurry at times, making sure to share some beverages among good friends before hitting the really lame bar scene that is my hometown. upon arrival, chaos. packed bars, lots of greetings, smiling until my face hurt, the whole nine yards. bumping into people that were bitches last time i saw them and didn't let me down... still bitches. people i dated that i have no idea why i dated them. people i dated who still pull the same bullshit they did years ago, ay yi yi. ever heard the song "all my exes live in texas", i really wish they did. but all in all, great night. did some embarrassing stuff, which is pretty standard. ended my night, in a bed, but not after alex's dad took us to taco bell, which was heavenly. my group of girlfriends consists of five of us who have stayed close throughout the years and who are actually doing something with our lives after high school. we all received a text from one of our good friends in the group in the morning, which may, to date, (besides texts from my friend martha) be the best text i've ever received. 

8:05am "last night = puddle. woke up with taco bell wrapper stuck to my face. my boyfriend says i demanded a quesadilla then immediately barfed it up. fail."

as the holiday weekend continued. we hosted a pretty baller feast at my home on thursday. it started out with my elderly grandmothers talking to each other about their hearing aids, which i listened to intently, dreading the day i complain about hearing aids, but chucked, because it was hilarious (sorry grams x 2). my mom and i drank wine and got everything together, we talked about travel over the feast, i got asked countless times what i'm doing with my life, "hi, still nothing". i've changed my answer to "ya know, just hanging out". i'm sure everyone loves to hear that after i spent 4 years at a private university. ooops. workin' on it.... still.

friday we host a big post thanksgiving party at my house. lots of good food, lots of beer lots of wine. awesome. this year was the 5th year. i'm very blessed to have close friends (whom i noted earlier) who's parents are also close with mine. so it's a combination of families and friends, ended up being 30+ people i would say. my friends and i have created a tradition, since the first time we had this shinding: buy lots of boones farm, chug it upstairs, return to party, chow down, return later for more boones farm. this year was no different (i'll grow up someday, maybe). when my mom found out that we have this boones farm tradition her response was

 "boones farm? really? i thought i raised you better than that."

...sorry mom, apparently not.

after the boones and grub we actually made it to the bar after. met up with some good friends, ended up piling 7 people into a monte carlo for the trip home, real cozy, then we waited for our friend jazzy to struggle to get into his house in the dark while we all heckled him, sorry (i'm not sorry) to your neighbors. saturday i was way too worn out from the food and alcohol hangover that started wednesday, so i decided on some quality times with my roommates/parents, luckily  i did because my dad, the comedian, had some wise words about staying fit after the glutenous activities we participated in over the weekend...

"when there's a will, there's a way.... WHEY PROTEIN!"

it saddens me that this could be my last thanksgiving like this, but hey, at least we made it a good one ;) until next time, from me and mine to you and yours, happy holidays.

no one likes you when you're 23

i recently took a trip to visit my good friend ali, in rural illinois. on my way, i jammed to new music (music post comin' at ya soon), i reminisced, i got pumped for the weekend to come. newark, il, you don't disappoint. i hop in my faithful explorer, dennis, and i hit the road. stopping in my old stomping ground, valpo to fill up on gas and on to the land of lincoln i go. naturally, for the second time in my life, i get lost in the beautiful place that is south holland, il. (big shout out to the land of meg hoh). it wasn't my first time in south holland, a place that seems less than inviting (less inviting in the dark on a friday night while i'm lost in the ghetto), my gps decides it doesn't want to recognize that a road is completely shut down and takes me around and around for a half hour while i try desperately a) not to stop, because hi, i'm in the ghetto b) not cry because naturally i don't have cell service c) try not to throw my gps out the window. i eventually find my way only to get caught in standstill traffic for another chunk of time, only miles from my exit to paradise. rural illinois, your construction sucks just as bad as michigan, this is not a compliment.

upon my arrival, finally, i'm greeted with good friends from valpo, good grub (shout out to mamma schultz), and some beers... mmm beers, so necessary after that nearly four hour drive. we catch up, we drink, we head out to the bars. oh, the bars in rural illinois, a beautiful thing. firstly, let me note that ali's hometown reminds me a little of my side of town, but a little more hick, so naturally i knew the bar scene was going to be a real treat. first bar, i can tell we are surrounded by typical small town people, besides the people i was with, everyone was awesome, regardless. my next big pleasant surprise came in the form of busch light cans. am i at a frat party? no i'm a suzies bar, of course. ordering felt a little weird "hi, may i have a can of busch light please?" they take money for busch light cans in forms other than a case? news to me. thanks suzies, it's been real. oh, and balding dj, please respond to my sweet moves next time i try to dance on you, rude. 

valpo crew, plus mitch mc creeps a lot.

en route to the next bar, i was greeted by some nice old school jams from ali's brother, like "ridin' dirty", hello high school, it's been a while. upon arrival to the next bar, i came upon the most small town country bar ever. it was awesome. i wish there was one like it here. i don't even think i could describe it besides awesome. jimbo shots we're a must, i think they were like a dollar and quite delicious surprisingly, despite their cost. so if you're ever traveling through or hanging out, doing country things in newark, give jimbo's a shout out, i know i will. 


waking up was rough, but hp7 was waiting for us. standing, feeling rough, ali and i overhead a extremely obese woman in the next line order lots of movie snacks, then followed it up by "i need a large coke and a large sprite" ali and i look at each other, naturally thinking the same thing, i mutter "no you don't"... really though she didn't, a water would have been just fine for you, sweetheart. after a lengthy but awesome hp7, ali and i had made comment after comment about "nice work harry" "shit, is about to get real" "ron is being such a bitch" comments we made our way back to newark, struggling the entire way home, attempting to be real people again as the next evening out approached.

spending our evening in, at a house party, in our pj's was just fine with me, don't worry, just because we were in our sleepwear it was still a great night. plenty of glow stick dancing to techno music, drinking games i haven't played since i was in college (ew, i always forget i'm not in college anymore) and ali changing the words to g6 to "feelin' so fly, in my asics" since she was rocking tennis shoes and sweats. classic. though we were at a house party, hosted by someone my age, there were still some high schoolers present. that was alright, i tried to pretend i was young and hip. i got some laughs from my comparison of busch heavy to drinking a sandwich, jammed to "what's my age again" and felt old since blink182 specifically pointed out how being 23 sucks. we mooched some booze off some kids, asking if we could take a shot of "x rated" a pink liquor, and this guy responds to us "yeah, x rated is for the bitches" thanks bro, we'll be finishing this bottle now, since we're the "bitches" so it's obviously for us. 


so newark, il, save me some x rated next time i come to town, because these bitches will be thirsty.

ayo, i'm tired of usin' technology

have you ever met anyone who just repels technology? well now you have. this girl. hi, hello, i'm jenny, repeller of technology. the thing is, i'm pretty technologically savvy, but when it comes to bad luck with technology- i've, arguably, got the worst of it, and here is why....

 (i would like to note that when i started writing this blog, i lost my ipod.. it has not been found, and this is not a joke.. i wish it was)

after i received my first cell phone at 16 (now kids get cell phones at birth, practically, cool), i upgraded after a while, and from there on, completely downhill. i do feel really bad about all my technology issues, but i've come to terms with it and finally started doing things like getting insurance on my phone/camera/computer warranty, the works.

let's start with cameras and ipods:

one of the best stories and most recent, i lost my camera on halloween (how? beats me), i awake, camera-less, super bummed about not having it, because i remember comical pictures. in april or may, someone drops the camera off at our house, it was in a pile of leaves in our neighbors yard (i had not been at the neighbors the night before...uh, i don't think). naturally, i had already replaced the camera, but somehow i either threw my camera, fell in a leaf pile or who knows what, causing the camera to be mia for most of the school year...
my cameras have had cracked screens, stuck lenses, more cracked screens, water damage and so on.
ipods, lost, water damaged stolen, stolen (one time i was convinced my ipod was lost and later it was found in a sweatshirt pocket, that was cool/not)

but let's get to the main event... jenny and cell phones....

the time when it was the worst: spring of senior year at valpo, honest mistake i had my blackberry in my sweatshirt front pocket, i go to use the rest room and somehow maneuvering when entering the stall, blooop,, blackberry in the toilet. don't worry, i had that insurance i was talking about, new phone to be shipped asap... wait. wait. wait. new phone arrives, half a week later, guess what? defective phone. must send out for new/ not defective phone. new new phone comes have it for two day, i'm wandering home after a trip to the bar and i stumble... blooooop. blackberry  goes for a swim 2.0. apidnfoaiffnaosdf.  3 blackberry's 2 weeks, new record?

other instances include: phone on couch-  conveinently falling into small cup of ice tea on the floor. random water damage, cracked screens, more water damage, lost briefly at lollapalooza

i swear i try really hard to keep track of my belongings, and i had been doing so much better, until this week. but if all that info wasn't enough for you, here's some proof of how i usually get into my phone troubles...

 

 phone sitting on the bar at a party, bad choice

 shouldn't be using phone at all during the iditarod (ask if you want to know what it is)

 by the look of this awkward pose, i should definitely not be handing a phone at this time.

 phone AND camera in hand at sigma chi formal? somehow both survived the evening..whew.

 senior bar crawl. say no more.

i came to dance dance dance dance

 photo cred: me. downtown chi town

before i get started, please note post "just snookin' for love" since it fully describes how unexcited i was to celebrate my birthday this past weekend. i went around and around with my friends, making and then going back on plans, then finally committing to a weekend in valpo/chicago. i needed to do something fun with my friends... so to save time, the first two nights in valpo were great; got to make a guest appearance on vince and andy's radio show, celebrate lil wayne's release from prison, catch up with all my favorite people, cure hangovers with taco bell, slum in valpo like the good ol' days, it was fabulous.. but then saturday morning, it was time for chicago....

part of my birthday present was to get a room downtown for the night, which ended up being a sweet spot overlooking the chicago river, right next to the house of blues. my friend and roommate of three years, amanda, told me we would get hooked up all weekend (i'm from the country, i don't know what entails being "hooked up" downtown chicago) and oh was i in for a treat. 52 dollar parking, turned out to be free, awesome. so after we settle in (lauren, amanda and myself) we head down michigan ave for some shopping,  then to a great english pub for dinner, then to drink some beers overlooking the city from our 14th floor hotel room. 

 

photo cred: laur's iphone (me and amanda 14th floor at the sax hotel)

amanda's friends arrive. one is a hotel promoter downtown, he assures us that we wont pay for a thing all weekend. (i'm from a small, boring town, i think getting hooked up means a few free pitchers of beer, maybe some shots on the house and hey i like going out in a t shirt on occasion, so this would soon prove to be a big improvement from my usual going out style) then i found out that getting "hooked up" in chicago was code for freaking awesome. we head out, cabs paid for. we get to the first club, skip the line. we head in, coat check, paid for. we walk through the club, to a roped off vip area. we order drinks (from our groups personal waitress). drink after drink after drink. fuh-ree. don't mind if i do chicago, don't mind if i do. we even were drinking a $300 bottle of vodka at the first club, for free. (delicious, probably the only time i'll ever drink that) i was overwhelmed with awesomeness. i felt like i was in a rap video or something, or more like kid cudi's pursuit of happiness video (which really is one of the happiest videos in my book). i cheersed with some great friends, i cheersed with some new friends, i got a lot of "yeaaah birthday girl" shout outs from people i didn't know and from fellow vip-ers. the song "say aah" was apparently my anthem for the night since it talked about a) drinking b) a birthday girl c) fun. that's fine. we continued this process at 4 clubs downtown chicago, same treatment everywhere. it was pretty damn awesome. 

next two photos cred to laur's iphone

 

some specifics from the evening that were pretty funny: in bigger cities, there are often bathroom attendants. the lady at our first club, cheryl, was great. when we met her, she was yelling at a girl who really must have upset her, gist of the story is, this girl gave cheryl attitude, cheryl thought this girl was a ho, for lack of better terminology, and started calling her out about her butt cheeks showing. the girl defends herself by responding how her boyfriend likes it, my girl cheryl fires back about how her boyfriend has someone more respectable on the side. get it, cheryl. another cheryl highlight is when we realized people were tipping her in drinks, since we had free booze, we figured we'd go that route. i ask cheryl what she drinks, she tells me she sticks to dark liquor, she isn't into vodka, she mentions hennessy. i immediately start quoting a little katt williams and it goes like this:

(watch it on youtube)

"we are very consistent. if a brotha drink hennessy...that what the eff that brotha drinks. You aint gotta keep asking. that's what he gon drink on monday, wednesday, friday, his birthday, jesus birthday...hennessy."

right away, my girl cheryl, gets pumped because some white girl is quoting katt williams with her (seriously, i have the most random/awesome variety of interests, no shame, that's why i love people so much, because i have a great sense of humor (please note post "yeah, bro /stop living in the past")) sadly, we couldn't get cheryl any hennessy, but we hooked her up with some $300 vodka, i hope she enjoyed.

at the last club,  we had just about had it, we were tired, had been drinking for a long period of time and i was working on a time change, but as they guys told us in the beginning of the evening, we were in for a late night, i didn't want to be a party pooper, hello, it was my birthday. lauren and i decide to go dance ridiculously (like lollapalooza /rave/ridiculous dancing ) we just get up there and wave our bodies around, jump around do whatever, it was awesome and gave us a second wind. sadly though, i then attracted a dance partner, i like to dance, so i'm like cool, dance is not code for attack my face, bro. that proved to be interesting trying to run away from him the rest of the night. then our new challenge turned into finding amanda's phone, someone stole at the last club, i continue to call/text/bombard amanda's phone until we pass out in the early am. i pretend it's amanda's birthday trying to get whoever took it to take pity on us, give sob stories, repeatedly send sad faces, but hey it ended up working. some 40 year old, wanna be bro, found amanda's phone the next day in the heart of downtown chicago and she happily retrieved it, miracles can happen, folks. we hit everything on our list, except had to decline our invitation to party at the playboy penthouse, that's an invitation i never thought i would receive. thanks chicago.

now, that's what i call, a birthday. now, back to reality. 

 "partying like a rockstar, in the chicago of my mind" -laur